Think Before You Ink

It would be easy to miss, but there is a new leader in the clubhouse for dumbest injury suffered by an athlete.  A tattoo has sidelined U.S. national team central defender John Brooks.  The 21 year old decided to get a massive back tattoo.  Brook’s has been unable to practice with Hertha Berlin this week, according to his coach Jos Luhukay.  The inflammation from the tattoo is severe enough to render Brooks inactive.

This is unequivocally the worst sports injury in memory.  Sammy Sosa’s back was nothing to sneeze at but the slugger’s back spasms resulted from the involuntary, perhaps somebody even said he was good looking.  Jake Plummer’s epic trip had vaulted him into this contingent.  Attempting to elude the dog at your feet on the stairs is not always the wisest choice.  Yet it pales in comparison to Brook’s blunder.

Spring training 2014 saw the usual equation of baseball player plus free time equals odd injury.  A’s outfielder Michael Taylor cut his hand throwing a bubble gum wrapper into the trash and Tampa Bay’s Joel Peralta hurt his neck exiting his camaro.  Neither of these compares to former Toronto outfielder Glenallen Hill.  Hill suffered cuts and scrapes to his elbows and toes from fighting off spiders that attacked him . . . in a nightmare.  None of the aforementioned players should be expecting a membership offer from Mensa.

           However, Elvin Andrus, of the Texas Rangers, should be ecstatic to hear of Brook’s disabling body art.  The Ranger’s shortstop missed time this spring as a result from his own tattoo misadventure.  Elvin’s right biceps was sore enough from his ink that he missed a spring training game.  Of course, Andrus missed an exhibition game, not an actual game, which is why Brooks has passed Andrus and ascended to the top of this mountain.  So fire up the Guitar Hero Joel Zumaya and play “Jump Around,” there is a new king of this mountain, just keep an eye on Bill Gramatica.